


Does It Almost Feel Like Nothing Changed At All

by VeryFckingAmusing



Category: Spartacus Series (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-05
Updated: 2013-08-05
Packaged: 2017-12-22 12:15:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/913107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VeryFckingAmusing/pseuds/VeryFckingAmusing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nasir finds a letter from an old flame and opens old wounds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Does It Almost Feel Like Nothing Changed At All

Nasir is coughing so violently that it's a small miracle he makes it down the shaky attic stairs, arms laden with two boxes, without a disaster occurring.

"It's so dusty up there," he complains as he lets Pietros take one of the boxes, "How have we lived with that over our heads for so long?"

They carry the boxes back down to the living room, the official bag-and-tag headquarters, and crack open the first. The wave of dust and stale air sends them both into another coughing fit.

"God, this is horrible," Nasir complained, stepping away from the box full of Pietros's childhood photographs to open the other, "I'll be vacuuming this shit up for months."

"Sorry," Pietros sounds genuinely apologetic and a little sad.

Nasir grins, "Second thoughts?"

"No..." Pietros doesn't sound convinced, "Just... sucks to be leaving."

"Whose fault is that?" Nasir teases. He knows Pietros; it's just nerves. He'll take advantage of his best friend's erratic emotional range all he wants, thank you very much, because he's the lucky one that gets to run off and live happily ever after.

"Technically it's Barca's, he asked." Pietros sounds happier already at the thought and Nasir groans. Happily ever fucking after.

He's not actually bitter, he and Pietros have been friends since middle school and this is the happiest he's been in all that time. Besides, they've lived together for three years, Nasir thinks it's time for a change. He just wishes he didn't have to clean out the attic in the process. He rips the yellowing, flaky tape off the second box he brought down and pulls out several old textbooks, searching for anything belonging to Pietros.

"We should donate these old clothes," Pietros says, "I don't know why I thought boxing them up would be a good idea. Like one day there'd be an emergency and I'd absolutely need a Hawaiian shirt."

Nasir looks up and laughs at the garish, bright shirt in question, "I don't think you'll find anyone willing to take that off your hands,"

Pietros shrugs and throws it aside, "Maybe not. There's some alright stuff in here, too, though..."

Nasir continues digging until he comes to an unmarked envelope. Inside he finds a slip of paper with a cellphone number scribbled on it and a letter. He grins at his own sentimentality as a teenager and unfolds what he expects to be a poorly written booty call disguised as a love letter that his 16 year old self would've fallen for hook, line and sinker.

 

Nasir,

I'm going to try and make this as cheery as possible but I might fuck it up, sorry if I do, I just miss you a lot. I hope you're having a great time with your family. Is it snowing? It's really heating up here, we're going to the beach every other day. Everyone misses you, by the way, they told me to tell you. Yes, even Crixus. Well, he didn't say it to me, but Naevia says he does. 

Work's been good. I've been able to take a bunch more shifts, I didn't realize how much time I spent with you until now and it was boring just sitting around the house. Don't worry, I'll go back to my regular shifts when you get back. But for now it's good to keep busy. 

Spartacus and Mira worked through their shit, you'll be glad to know. They're sickeningly happy now, Saxa and I want to stage an intervention. Saxa says to say get back soon, by the way. Apparently I'm moping.

I want to write more but I'm sure you're busy catching up with everyone so I'll leave it here.I miss you so much, baby. I wish we'd had more time to talk before you left, there's things I should have said... But they'll just have to wait, I guess. I can't wait to hear from you. Stay safe. I love you. I love you. 

That looks stupid. I wrote it the first time and then I thought I shouldn't so I crossed it out, but obviously I changed my mind, then I thought I should write the whole letter again but then I thought it was more genuine like this. Anyway, I'm rambling. I mean it though, I love you.

Agron

 

"Fucking hell..."

"What?" Pietros asked absently, perking up when he doesn't answer, "What's that?"

"It's a letter from..." Nasir is mumbling, staring at the letter like it's about to dissolve, "It's a letter from Agron from when I went home for the summer."

Pietros makes an interested, slightly sympathetic sound and says, "Just the one?"

Nasir nods, "Yeah, after I got this I decided 'fuck the long distance fees' and just called him."

He smiles fondly, turning the letter over in his hands, but there's no script on the back.

"Wow, I haven't thought about him in ages..." he mumbles almost to himself. 

"I wonder what he's doing these days," Pietros echoes Nasir's thoughts, "Sucks that we sort of fell out of the group."

Nasir looks up, startled, as he realizes he's right. He hasn't spoken to anyone from high school in such a long time.

"You still talk to Naevia, right?" Pietros asks, looking a little distressed.

"I have her on Facebook and we like each others' statuses and stuff but that's not really..." he trails off.

Pietros sighs heavily and grumbles, "As if I wasn't depressed enough."

Nasir silently agrees as he carefully refolds Agron's letter into the envelope for later inspection. He and Pietros work in silence for the next few hours, both wrapped up in memories. It's well into the night when they're finished taking everything out of boxes and sorting them for future action. Still, when they stand back to survey the damage, their living room still looks like a pile of shit.

"Tonight on Hoarders..." Pietros mumbles and Nasir scoffs.

"Whatever, when you clear out your stuff it'll be better. I'll take the ones for donation with me when I bring over your mattress, and the rest can go back into the attic." Nasir reasons through a yawn, "Don't worry about it."

Pietros pulls him into a hug that Nasir eagerly accepts. He feels as shit as the living room looks.

 

-

 

Despite how tired he was downstairs, Nasir is wide awake when he's tucked into bed. He reaches for his laptop and opens Facebook, immediately turning off the chat function when Chadara sends him a link with a winky face attached, surely a link to the profile of some creepy guy on a dating site that she wants him to contact. Instead, he types 'Agron Jäger' into the search bar. Not a single result shows up but Nasir isn't deterred, instead clicking on to Naevia's profile. He takes a moment to sift sadly through her profile, looking at photos of a birthday party he wasn't invited to. Not that he blames Naevia, he wouldn't know what to say to her after all that time. Feeling thoroughly tortured, he opens her friends page and types the same name in. Yet again it comes up empty and now he's stumped. Who doesn't have a fucking Facebook? He swallows the emerging fear that maybe something's happened to Agron and snaps his laptop closed with a little more force than necessary. 

 

-

 

"Can't hurt to try." Barca reasons while he and Nasir load the couch onto the moving truck.

"I know, I know," Nasir grunts, trying to keep up, "But if it is still his number, what am I going to say? It would've been so much easier if he just had a damn Facebook..."

They manage to lift the couch into the truck when Pietros comes to aid on Nasir's end.

"Keep it real," Pietros suggests and ignores Barca's snort, "Tell him about the letter. He'll probably get a kick out of it."

Nasir disagrees. Their breakup was fucking ugly. The only reason Nasir isn't curled up in a ball thinking about it is because he refuses to let himself be affected by wounds inflicted four years ago. Still, he thinks he won't get any rest until he tries. He figures he can just make an excuse (fuck 'keep it real') like he found the number and wondered who it was and not mention the letter at all. When Barca and Pietros drive off in the moving truck Nasir whips out his phone and dials. His heart thumps erratically, deafening over the ringing.

"Hey, leave a message."

FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK. Beep.

"Fuck! I mean, shit, oh god, um..." and he hangs up.

Nasir swallows several times and then robotically gets into his car and drives, perhaps off a bridge.

He relays to story to Pietros and Barca when he arrives with the mattress and neither have much to say beyond hysterical laughter.

"Shut the fuck up, seriously," Nasir barks, overtired, overworked and still horrendously embarrassed.

"Nasir," chuckles Pietros, "Relax. It's not a big deal. You're never going to see him again so you don't have to explain yourself, have a sense of humor."

Nasir refuses. They unload the rest of Pietros's stuff into his and Barca's new two bedroom shrine to domesticity which he can admit is actually quite beautiful despite his sour mood. Their emotional goodbye is somewhat hindered, however. They hug it out and Nasir gives Barca the customary 'treat him right' speech, even though he's been treating Pietros right for three years now, but he's still fretting when he gets into his car.

"He'll probably find it funny, if a little weird," Pietros tries to assure him one last time.

"But what if he calls?" Nasir whines out the window.

Pietros fixes him with a incredulous stare, "You cursed out the man's voicemail. He's not going to call."

 

-

 

He calls. Nasir answers without checking the I.D because whoever's calling at 6:30 am deserves and earful, no matter who it is.

"What?" he snaps.

"Yeah, you called me yesterday, left a stupid fucking message," the voice on the other end sounds equally inflamed.

Nasir takes a moment to process but when it hits him, he wants to be sick. 

"Umm..."

"Not so tough now, huh? I don't know what your deal is but lay off the prank calls, you're shit at it."

If Nasir had any doubts before (the voice message had been very brief) he's certain it's Agron now. He feels himself smile despite the severity of the situation. 

"Agron, hey, I'm sorry-"

"Who is this?" Agron interrupts huffily, "Where did you get my number?"

"Uh, I found it, I was going through some boxes..." Nasir's painfully aware of how stupid he sounds so he stops mid sentence. Quit while you're ahead and all that. Though he definitely doesn't feel 'ahead'.

"Wait, shit, Nasir?" Agron's tone suddenly changes to something like pleasantly surprised and Nasir lets out the breath he wasn't aware he was holding.

"Yeah... Yeah, it's me, you remembered?" he says, impressed.

"Of course. Well, I mean, your accent," Agron sounds flustered and nervous all of a sudden.

"Sure," he responds lamely, followed by a long moment of dead air before he restarts, "But yeah, I found your number when I was going through some old boxes."

He can hear a wide grin in Agron's voice when he says, "And you left the voicemail."

Nasir's warmed that suddenly Agron finds the incredibly rude voicemail funny.

"Yeah, uh, sorry about that. I looked you up on Facebook and couldn't find you," his tone is accusatory because he still can't quite forgive that, "So I gave the number a try but I wasn't quite prepared for voicemail. Figured I'd wing it when you picked up."

Agron laughs heartily, a sound that fits so well into Nasir's memory he's shocked.

"It's fine, I just get a lot a dumb calls since Crixus wrote my number on the bathroom wall at this bar..." he finishes with a fond chuckle that makes Nasir frown.

"Thought you'd kill him for something like that," he says hesitantly.

Agron takes a confused moment before laughing again, "Oh, nah, we're past those days. You get older, it gets harder to hold grudges."

"Oh, good for you," is all he can think to say.

There's another lull in conversation before Agron clears his throat.

"Sorry I called back so early, I'm about to head out to the gym,"

"Oh, no problem." Nasir lies because actually he'll never be able to get back to sleep, "If you need to go, I don't mind..."

"I should, sorry, don't wanna keep everyone waiting. But we should catch up sometime, if you want,"

Nasir realizes that's what he's been fishing for this whole time and sounds entirely too eager when he says, "Absolutely!"

They set up a lunch date (not a date, it's not a date, don't call it a date) on Saturday at a place that they used to frequent when they were together which unsettles Nasir to no end but he pushes it from his mind. As suspected, he can't fall back to sleep so he resigns himself to being dead tired at work all day and drags himself to the shower. 

 

-

 

Never has a week passed so slowly in Nasir's life. Every thought is monopolized, not only by excitement and terror at seeing Agron on the weekend, but also by thoughts of all the others. He becomes a certified Facebook stalker, using Naevia's profile as a portal to check in on everyone he used to know. He can gather from Spartacus's profile picture that he and Mira didn't last but the picture of Spartacus and a ginger haired woman who must be his new partner makes Nasir smile. Mira's profile shows she's working for a popular hotel chain which is a stretch from wanting to be vet when she was at school but she looks happy. He can't find Duro, either, but he spots someone who could very well be him in Naevia's birthday photos and he looks well. Saxa and Gannicus look well, too, and Nasir is willing to bet they've stood the test of time. He can't find Lugo, much to his disappointment, but Donar's profile picture is of a newborn baby and he spends a few minutes gushing. He wonders for a disturbing moment how many others have children and looks around at his empty house with slight embarrassment. 

On Friday night Agron texts him to confirm their date (it's not a date you psychopath, calm down) to which he responds with a 'yes' and a smiley face that he regrets. It looks too damn eager. He buzzes around cleaning the house to try and tire himself out so he can get some sleep and eventually has to resort to a little night cap. He curses his own stupidity and lack of self control but it does the trick and he's out like a light.

 

-

 

It's a little childish, he accepts, but Nasir doesn't want to be to one sat at a table watching Agron approach and wondering whether he should stand up or when's an appropriate time to wave, so he shows up five minutes late.

Agron grins widely as Nasir approaches and waves, clearly more at ease with the situation than Nasir would be. Nasir is glad he's got a few steps left to process. Agron looks incredible. Different, but incredible. He's lost the dreadlocks which Nasir is mournful of until he realizes how much shorter hair compliments Agron's jaw. He's filled out, too. He was always tall and muscular but in that gangly teenage fashion. Now he's pure muscle and deliciously broad shoulders. He's tanner, too, Nasir thinks, although he's only comparing what he sees now to memory so he could be wrong.

"Hi, Nasir!" Agron exclaims, pulling Nasir out of his mental analysis.

He stands up once Nasir has arrived at the little table outside the restaurant and before he has time to prepare, he's pulled into a tight hug. Once he's there, he can't help breathing in deeply. Agron's scent doesn't trigger any memories, so Nasir figures he uses a different deodorant. And then he curses himself for being creepy and instead focuses on enjoying huge arms around him before they're pulled away. They sit together and Agron's grin is infectious despite how surreal the moment feels.

"You look great," Agron says, "I was terrified you'd cut your hair."

Nasir unconsciously flicks loose strands of fringe out of his face, "I did, actually, a while back. Wasn't my look. Sorry I'm late, by the way. Traffic."

Agron shakes his head, "No problem, you're not that late. God, it's good to see you."

He sounds so genuine that Nasir is temporarily stunned. He regains his senses, however, and sighs.

"Look, I'm sorry." he says, looking down at the table, "About the voicemail. It was stupid."

He looks back up and Agron is frowning.

"It wasn't stupid, I'm glad you called. I would've been just as freaked out. Actually, I don't think I'd have the guts to call." he chuckled, "So don't worry about it. Where'd you say you found my number?"

"Oh, in a box of old school stuff, books..." he takes a deep breath because this is dangerous territory but decides to take the plunge, "It was in an envelope with a letter you wrote me."

Agron makes a face, "God, I hope it wasn't a love letter!"

Nasir smiles, "Not really. There was no poetry."

"Thank god." he grins, "So, wait, what was it? I don't remember sending you a letter."

"It was when I went to New Zealand for the summer," he reminds him.

"Oh, shit, of course!" Agron nods, "Wow... What did it say?"

Nasir had naively hoped he wouldn't ask.

"Just updates about what you were doing. You told me Mira and Spartacus were back together,"

Agron throws his head back and laughs loudly, "Jesus, what a nightmare... He's engaged now, Spartacus,"

Nasir refrains from telling him he's seen the picture.

"That's great. When's the wedding?" 

Agron shrugs, "Who knows? They had the engagement party two weeks ago and Laeta was talking about a destination wedding which will be a bitch to organize, considering how many people they want to invite."

He rolls his eyes and Nasir gets the feeling he doesn't quite approve. 

"But anyway," Agron says after a pause, "What else did the letter say?"

Jesus, persistent as ever.

"Uh, something about Saxa. How is she?" he asks, trying to distract him.

It works, as he lights up, "She's great. She just got promoted so she's taking everyone out tonight for drinks. She and Gannicus are still together, by the way,"

Nasir grins, "Called it. Thought they would be."

Agron nods, "Yeah, they broke up for a year after school to, I dunno, sample the real world, but they got back together in the end. Obviously."

Nasir scoffs and they swap exasperated looks. Typical Saxa and Gannicus. The conversation shifts then, first to what Nasir has been up to (he exaggerates a lot of his stories to make it sound like his life is a lot more interesting than it is) then to Agron's life (a lot more interesting than Nasir's) and then, inevitably and regretfully, to relationships.

"I broke up with my most recent boyfriend last year, we were together for about six months." Nasir says, wishing he had a better story to tell, "That's about it."

Agron's smile is a little too wide to be simply interested and Nasir feels a thrill that perhaps Agron is pleased that he's single.

"I've been seeing someone casually for a few weeks but things sorta fizzled," Agron admits, "It was fun but it wasn't going anywhere."

Nasir plays his cards closer to his chest and tries not to let Agron see his jealousy. As they've talked and ate, Nasir has comes to terms with the fact that he's still very much attracted to Agron, as much as he wishes he wasn't. 

"So what are you doing tonight?" Agron asks once he's swallowed his last mouthful of the same pasta dish he ordered four years ago and set his knife and fork down. 

Nasir's heart thumps ridiculously hard, "Uh, I've got nothing planned. Why do you ask?"

"Well, it's Saxa's shout at Sinuessa, and I'm sure the gang will get a kick out of seeing you." Agron shrugs.

Nasir takes a deep breath and shakes his head, "I don't think so. It's weird."

Agron looks terribly disappointed, "It's not weird. I mean, they'll be shocked, sure, but they'll love it."

Nasir smiles weakly, "I know, just... I kinda disappeared. I didn't mean to, it just happened."

Suddenly his hand is covered with a larger one and he's shocked into looking up from the table. 

"I'm sorry about that," Agron says softly, "I didn't mean for you to get disconnected when we broke up."

Nasir shrugs and boldly twists his hand so that they can entwine their fingers. When Agron frowns he thinks he's made a terribly embarrassing mistake, but he follows Agron's eye line to their joined hands. Agron is running his finger along the titanium ring on Nasir's finger and Nasir is confused until his stomach drops. He's worn this ring, dark silver coloured with a pattern like a woven leather band, for as long as he can remember. It's such a part of him and his daily routine that he doesn't remember that it was Agron who gave him the ring. His cheeks burn and he's sure he looks a mess but Agron is smiling wistfully and despite himself, he musters a smile in return. 

After that moment that Nasir would rather never revisit, Agron sets about trying to convince him to come to Sinuessa, apparently the hot new bar in town. Nasir protests but Agron, in those little ways only he knows how, manages to not only convince him to come for drinks, but to go home with Agron.

"Saves you driving all the way back to your's only to turn around," he reasons as they're leaving the restaurant and heading for their cars, "We can take a cab to the bar, that way you don't have to worry about not drinking, and then you can crash on my couch."

Nasir shakes his head in disbelief once he's in the solitary refuge of his car. How the hell did that just happen? 

 

-

 

"So you live here by yourself?" 

Agron's house is impressive. Smaller than Nasir's but marginally nicer, with an immaculate front lawn and a hot tub out the back. Agron almost convinced him to get in. Almost.

"Not technically," Agron replies from the kitchen where he's getting them a pre-drink, "All Duro's stuff is here but he's never home. He's so fucking lucky."

"Why's that?"

"He's working for a travel agency, they send him around the world and on these cruises and he bring back all the information they need about hotels and shit. Best job in the world." he says, faking bitterness but Nasir can hear the pride.

"Is he seeing anyone? That must be hard." he asks.

"That's the worst part," Agron says, bringing two beers back to the lounge room and sitting next to Nasir on the couch, "He's got this gorgeous girlfriend whose a flight attendant, and he always ends up on her flights so they get to jet around the world together for free. It's insane, he's living the dream."

Nasir grins, "So it's safe to say he's a gold star member of the mile high club,"

Agron snorts, "Lucky shit."

The conversation lulls but it's not as awkward as it was at the restaurant. Nasir has finally relaxed and stopped overanalysing every detail, content to just sit back and let himself be attracted to Agron if he wants to. He's still nervous about seeing everyone else again but they've got an hour before they have to think about getting ready.

"What's going on with your family?" Agron asks.

Nasir sighs and rolls his eyes, "The usual. Dad's an angry bastard, Kazim's a bullheaded little prick. I'm trying to convince him to move here with me, especially since Pietros moved out, but at this point I think he just likes the conflict. Mum's good though. Dating more than I am, actually."

Agron laughs at that, "Good for her."

"I haven't been back to New Zealand since school, when you sent the letter." he admits, "I probably should."

"Hm," Agron hums thoughtfully, "You should talk to Duro, he could get you cheap flights."

Nasir scowls at him and he laughs.

"Not that I think you need cheap flights, I'm just saying!" he takes a swig of beer, "So you're really not seeing anyone?"

Nasir narrows his eyes and fixes Agron with a cautious glare. Agron shrugs and huffs another laugh.

"I dunno," he shakes his head, "I just... I thought you'd be snapped up by now."

"I'm not sure if I should be flattered or pissed off," Nasir says and then takes a deep drink, "Either way, no, I'm not seeing anyone."

Agron is silent and the question festers, leaving Nasir too curious not to ask.

"What, have you thought about me much?" he tries to sound as gentle as possible but it's hard not to tease a little. Agron catches the undertone and flips him off.

"Every now and then, yeah. Why, have you not?" he turns the conversation around exactly how Nasir doesn't want him to. 

He cringes and shakes his head, "Not really. It took a while to get over you and when I did, it was because I got rid of everything that reminded me of you."

Agron's looking at him with no sympathy or pity whatsoever, just sad acceptance and Nasir remembers one of the many reasons he loved him so much. Agron never treated him like he was fragile, or dumb, a nice change from the people around him who thought he was just a pretty face. 

"I know what you mean." Agron sighs but then grins and holds his beer out for a toast, "We were awesome together."

Nasir stares at him incredulously for a long moment but eventually that dimpled grin wears him down and he has to clink their beers.

"We were." he agrees.

"I wanted to call you so bad after we broke up." Agron admits.

"What, you wanted to get back together?"

Agron nods, "So much. I knew I was a fucking idiot for ever thinking..."

"I didn't sleep with that guy." Nasir snaps, surprisingly still tender about it four years on. He can barely remember the guy in question, a flirtatious drunken youth at one of Gannicus's many graduation parties. Castus Something.

"I know. That's what I'm saying, I was stupid to think you did. I didn't even think it, really. I just got scared. I guess I thought if things ended on my terms, it wouldn't hurt as much as having you taken away from me. Dumb, right?" Agron is opening up to him with an air of humorous reflection but Nasir is getting angrier by the second.

He stands because he doesn't think he can sit still for much longer and paces, not caring how ridiculous he must look.

"Why..." Nasir growls, "Why didn't you tell me this shit when it was happening? Why did you make me feel like a fucking monster for speaking to that guy? It wasn't like it was a short break up, you had plenty of time to own up!" 

It hadn't been a short break up at all. Nasir had fought tooth and nail for their relationship but Agron wouldn't be convinced that nothing had happened.

"Fucking christ, you put me through hell, Agron, just because you were scared?" Nasir seethes, "You made me think it was my fault, god! Why would you do that to me?"

He's aware of how emotional he's getting but he can't help it. 

"I'm sorry, Nasir," Agron isn't laughing now, and he's standing too, walking over to put himself in Nasir's pacing path, "I was a stupid, scared kid. I have no excuse, it was the dumbest thing I've ever done in my life."

Nasir can't look him in the eye and instead chooses to stare across the room at a framed photo of Agron and Duro and a dark haired girl he assumes is the flight attendant.

"That's why I wanted to call you," Agron continues when Nasir is silent, "Even if I couldn't win you back, I wanted to let you know it wasn't your fault. I was going to but Pietros said you weren't handling it well and I'd do more harm than good by calling."

Nasir quashes any feelings of animosity towards Pietros the second they arise because he's right, a call from Agron with any indication that things could be okay would have set him right back to square one. He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly through his nose.

"I'm glad you came to your senses," he says coolly, "Thank you for letting me know."

Agron looks burned but doesn't press the issue, instead announcing that they should be getting ready to go out. He directs Nasir to the shower. Nasir takes a few minutes to lean his head against the glass, drained. What he had hoped would be a nice catch up has mutated into an emotional rollercoaster and he's not even halfway through. He considers saying thanks but no thanks and going home but a petulant part of him doesn't want to give Agron the satisfaction.

 

-

 

The fanfare when he arrives at Sinuessa is enough to send his head spinning. He's surrounded by squealing and immediately enveloped in two pairs of arms belonging to Naevia and Mira. He tries not to be too hurt when he hears Saxa grumble 'Who the fuck is that?' because it has been a while. She catches on eventually and pulls him into a rough hug. He greets a pleasantly surprised Spartacus and his fiance and shakes hands with Crixus, larger and more intimidating than ever. Agron hangs over his shoulder like a parrot but with the expression of a proud dog who brought back the tennis ball. The cab ride was tense and Nasir isn't sure how he feels yet but in the interest of keeping the peace, they don't press the issue further.

Instead, Nasir lets himself get caught up in the excitement. It's surreal again, seeing people he's not seen since he was a teenager, all grown up with rings on their fingers and pictures of babies in their wallets. He again wishes he had something to bring to the table other than a semi-decent job that he sort of hates and not a single romantic conquest to speak of. He's questioned many times, of course, about Agron and while he admits he would think the same if he were them, he resents them every time they ask him because it just encourages his own thinking.

His own thoughts being that despite what a lying, scared little dickwad Agron may have been when they broke up, and despite that they barely know each other anymore, Nasir wouldn't be opposed to anything that may develop.

It's a possibility, going off the way Agron is acting. He hasn't left Nasir's side, even declining a game of pool with Spartacus and Crixus in favor of listening passively while Mira chews Nasir out about losing contact. As the night wears on and the drinks get stronger, Nasir realizes somewhere through the night Agron has placed his hand on his lower back and not moved it for some time. He leans back onto it for a moment, testing Agron's resolve, and is delighted when the hand not only remains but starts rubbing small circles into his spine. 

"Can I get you another drink?" Agron asks, leaning down to talk into his ear even though the music and conversation in the bar really aren't that loud.

Nasir shakes his head, "No thank you."

He's barely tipsy, partly because he feels awkward accepting drinks from Saxa, but also because he wants to keep his wits about him. Then he realizes Agron is much the same.

"You're not drinking?" he asks.

"No, didn't feel like it," he lies, Nasir knows, because he'd been excited about free drinks at lunch. 

He catches Agron's eye and they stare. It's fucking intense and it steals Nasir's breath. 

"Do... do you want to go?" he murmurs because they're so close. Agron nods slowly.

It takes a while to get out of the bar. They do the rounds of saying goodnight to everyone, and sit through several choruses of 'No, don't leave' and 'We're just getting warmed up'. When they finally make it outside, they realize they hadn't called a cab, so they wait for twenty more minutes in relative silence before one pulls up. This cab ride is tense, too, but the air is marginally different.

 

-

 

The minute they get inside, Nasir presses their lips together. Agron makes a surprised, pleased sound and immediately his hands fall to Nasir's sides, backing him against the door. His tongue swipes lightly over Nasir's bottom lip and Nasir's mouth opens automatically. Their tongues meet boldly in the middle before Nasir retreats to let Agron taste him thoroughly. Meanwhile, Nasir lets his hands explore, squeezing biceps and rubbing his chest. It's familiar in a way but also new. They're different people now, they kiss differently and Nasir doesn't know about himself but Agron tastes different. 

Almost as if he can feel Nasir start thinking, Agron pulls away. But not too far, pressing their foreheads together and bumping their noses. They smile at each other.

"Is this okay?" Agron asks huskily and Nasir feels lightheaded at his tone.

He nods, "Yeah, it's great, just..."

"We don't have to think about it," Agron suggests, "I promise this isn't a one night stand, I'm not gonna kick you out in the morning. But we can fine tune the details later."

Nasir presses a swift kiss to his jaw and then slides their cheeks together, feeling the slight burn of stubble on stubble. 

"Then get us to the bedroom," he murmurs into Agron's ear. 

He's never been moved through a house so quickly in his life.

They divest themselves of their own clothing in a unified decision to save time and though undressing while staring at each other may be a little strange, Nasir is glad of it when Agron lays them down. Agron is pressing into him from above and Nasir can feel every single muscle. He's completely covered and Agron is heavy atop him in the best way. He lets out a low moan when Agron shifts and the friction of cock on cock sends a thrill right through his body. Agron kisses him again, slow and lazily as he's moving his hips, sending Nasir into a frustrated, blissful coma. Nasir's hands grip Agron's bare ass with no soft force but he refrains from pulling, no matter how much he wants Agron to speed up. He knows it will come in time. 

"You're so beautiful," Agron murmurs when he pulls away for air, "You feel so good under me, baby,"

Nasir's heart and stomach both clench because the dirty talk rubs him in all the right ways, plus he'd forgotten how talkative and lovely Agron was during sex. He lets one of his hands leave Agron's ass, running up the seemingly endless expanse of muscled back and clenching lightly in the back of his hair, pulling him in for another deep kiss. Agron starts moving faster with every thrust and Nasir grinds up into him.

"Fuck, so good..." Agron groans, "I love the way you move with me... Fuck!"

Nasir wishes he could be even half as coherent as Agron in his lusty state but every time he opens his mouth, a loud moan spills out. Agron clearly doesn't mind, each noise followed by a particularly hard thrust, but Nasir needs to be heard. 

The words are more of a moan than anything else but he gets them out all the same, "Agron... Fuck me..."

It's Agron's turn to moan and he buries his face in Nasir's neck, kissing and sucking and licking as if rewarding him for making that demand. Needing no further prompting, his hips still and he sits back, taking a moment to appreciate Nasir stretched out for him in all his glory, before diving into his bedside cabinet. He produces a condom and a tube of lube and Nasir almost laughs when he notices it's the same brand they used all those years ago. Agron must read his mind because he does laugh.

"Stick with what you know," he shrugs, and then leans down to press one more kiss to Nasir's lips before murmuring, "Turn over for me, baby."

Nasir complies and the feel of the bedsheet against his aching cock has him thrusting down involuntarily. Agron laughs and slaps him lightly on the ass.

"None of that." he orders.

Nasir almost tells him, in all of his maturity, that he's not the boss of him, but Agron's lips meet the bottom of his spine and he whines in anticipation of what Agron's about to do. Agron hums in response and one hand spreads him wide, the other nowhere to be found on Nasir's body so he assumes it's on his own cock. Suddenly, Agron's mouth has found it's target at Nasir's opening and his tongue draws circles over the muscle. Nasir brings his arms up to his head and bites down roughly on his forearm but it does fuck all to stifle the long, loud moan he's holding. Agron works his tongue in intervals of quick little laps to long, hard strokes and Nasir doesn't care what Agron ordered, he's rubbing himself against the bed with no shame. He whines and groans, legs spreading wider for Agron, and sweat beginning to pool in the dip of his lower back.

"FUCK! Agron," he growls when Agron's tongue presses in and he has to clamp his teeth down on his arm hard enough to bruise to stop himself from coming, "Stop, stop!"

Agron obeys after one long parting lick, but his tongue is replaced with fingers in no time. One finger breaches him slowly but he's not going to last. With a frustrated hiss, Nasir jerks away and Agron withdraws.

"Wha-?" Agron begins but is silenced when Nasir pounces him, flipping their positions so he straddles Agron's hips.

Eyes squeezed shut lest he see something like a bulging muscle or a collarbone that will further push him to the edge, Nasir grabs the lube and messily gathers some on his fingers before shoving two inside himself. It's uncomfortable, but he's a man possessed. When he thinks he's more in control of his approaching orgasm, Nasir opens his eyes to see Agron, slack-jawed and eyes hazy. He rocks back on his hand, fucking himself open, and adds a third finger. With his other hand, he passes Agron the condom and Agron has it on in record time. 

Nasir shows himself no mercy, stretching himself open quickly and roughly. Agron almost protests but Nasir turns his words into a deep groan when he sinks down, impaling himself on his cock. Agron immediately sits up and licks a long line up his throat when Nasir throws his head back in ecstasy. 

"Nasir, fuck, you're so good," Agron whines, clutching his ass and prompting him to move, "So... FUCK!"

His sweet words are interrupted by Nasir suddenly setting a brutal pace, too impatient to work up the momentum. He can feel Agron's cock just brushing by his prostate and he squirms trying to find the right angle. Agron helps when he starts thrusting up in return, and together they find it. Nasir sees stars and his moans become sobs. Agron plants his feet on the bed to get a stronger thrust when he feels Nasir losing stamina and he fucks feverishly up into him. 

"Come on baby," Agron pants, "Come for me."

Nasir yelps in response.

"There it is. Right there. Let go, come for me."

With Agron's blessing, Nasir comes like he's never come before. As soon as he feels himself slip over the edge, Agron pushes him down so his shoulders lay on the bed and his lower half is held in the air by his legs around Agron's waist, and Agron pounds him mercilessly. He howls and screams as wave after wave hits him and he chants Agron's name like a prayer. His sounds and the clenching of his body during climax send Agron over the edge and he fucks him viciously through it. Nasir whimpers as his abused, oversensitized prostate is stabbed, sending aftershocks of pleasure and pain through his already exhausted body. Agron collapses when he's finished, slipping out of Nasir in the process. He disposes of the condom, tying it and throwing it in what Nasir hopes is the direction of the bin. And then he turns on his side and throws a giant thigh over Nasir's hips, pulling him into a strong embrace.

Nasir wants to say so much. There's so much he needs to say. But Agron is breathing deeply, well on his way to sleep, and Nasir feels so safe and so loved wrapped in his arms that he can't bring himself to sabotage it.

 

-

 

"You're not leaving."

It's an order. Nasir scowls but it can be forgiven because he would have said the same thing.

"No, I just need to piss." he stumbles into Agron's (AGRON'S! Agron his high school boyfriend/love of his life who he only just saw yesterday after four years and then proceeded to go home and sleep with fucking hell had he been busy) bathroom. It's late morning by the look of the sun but Nasir is still drowsy. He plods back to bedroom, sheet wrapped loosely around his hips, and falls back down into Agron's waiting arms.

Agron's face immediately buries in his neck, rubbing and sniffing happily. Nasir smiles and runs his hand through Agron's hair. 

"Let's get back together." Agron mumbles, "Please."

They're the words Nasir has been aching to hear since he woke up, but he sighs dramatically and says, "You'd better not fuck me over again."

He means it to be a joke but Agron looks up at him miserably and Nasir immediately tries to kiss away the bad.

"I'm sorry I hurt you," Agron mumbles into his lips, "I'm sorry we wasted four years."

Nasir presses a kiss to Agron's forehead and inhales the scent of his hair. He's too emotional to think of a response that won't make Agron even sadder. It had been a horrible break up that no amount of mind blowing sex could make him forget, but Nasir is so happy. It's insane and he knows when he relays the story to Pietros he'll be slapped over the back of his head, but Nasir is for once letting his heart make the decisions. This feels right, no matter how crazy it is.

"I remembered something last night," Agron groans as he arches his back into a stretch.

Nasir watches his muscles pull and ripple with a dry throat but manages to grin and say, "What a wild animal I am in the sack?"

"That too," Agron laughs, "But also about the letter you found."

Nasir sighs. He knows where this is going.

"It was the first time I told you I loved you."

He nods, "Yeah. You crossed it out the first time and then wrote it again."

Agron groans and hides his face in his pillow for a moment, "God, I was a loser."

"You weren't, I loved it." Nasir assures him.

"I can't say it," Agron says carefully, "We hardly know each other anymore, it doesn't make sense. But I feel it."

Nasir knows what he means. Everything has come back to him. Their life together, their love... But he shakes his head.

"Don't force it. Say it when it feels right."

"I want to get back to that place, you know?" Agron sighs.

"Yeah, I know. I do, too."

"Nasir?"

His stomach drops when he thinks Agron is about to say it. It's not right, it's too soon.

"I'll love you."

"Oh, fuck off," he rolls his eyes but squeezes Agron tight and whispers, "I can't wait."

**Author's Note:**

> *mumbles* this is dumb, leave me alone...
> 
> So this is technically a sequel to a high school AU storyline that I've been sitting on for a long time. It's a lot longer, like fifteen chapters, and it tells of how they meet and the whole dramatic story behind Nasir's trip to New Zealand. Anyway, I thought up this one and realized I could mesh the stories together, so I guess now the high school one would be a prequel. I'd love to write it for you guys eventually if you want to read it, so let me know.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading, I'm a bit nervous because it's the first thing I've posted on AO3 so please be gentle if it sucks! <3


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